Help for Low Self-Esteem and Confidence in the UK: Where to Start

The NHS describes self-esteem as the opinion we have of ourselves. When it is low, we tend to see ourselves and our life in a more negative and critical light, and feel less able to take on life's challenges. It often begins in childhood, but stress and difficult life events such as serious illness or bereavement can lower it too, and personality can play a part.

The NHS says low self-esteem can lead people to hide away from social situations, stop trying new things and avoid challenges. That can feel safe in the short term but backfire in the longer term, and living with low self-esteem can lead to problems such as depression and anxiety. Source: NHS: raising low self-esteem.

The NHS suggests noticing the negative beliefs you have about yourself, writing them down, and then writing evidence that challenges them. It suggests keeping a list of at least 5 positive things about yourself, including good things other people say, and adding to it regularly. Other NHS ideas:

• recognise what you're good at, and do more of it
• build relationships with people who are positive and appreciate you
• be kind to yourself: think what you'd say to a friend in the same situation
• learn to be assertive, and practise saying "no"
• give yourself a small challenge, such as an exercise class or a social occasion

The NHS says talking therapies like counselling or cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) can help with low self-esteem. In England, if you're registered with a GP and aged 18 or over (16 or over in some areas), you can refer yourself to NHS Talking Therapies without seeing a GP. In Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland, a GP is usually the first step. For under-18s, see NHS: mental health support for children and young people. If you prefer, a GP can refer you.

If you'd like to choose who you see, start sooner or work for longer, several professions help with self-esteem and confidence, and none is better for everyone:

• Counsellors and psychotherapists, on accredited registers such as BACP, UKCP and NCPS.
• Practitioner psychologists, such as clinical and counselling psychologists, on the HCPC register.
• CBT therapists, often accredited by BABCP.
• Arts therapists (art, music and drama) and dance movement psychotherapists, if putting feelings into words is hard.
• Occupational therapists, who can help you rebuild routines, roles and confidence in daily life.
• Psychiatrists, medical doctors who can assess, diagnose and prescribe.

Whoever you choose, check their register and ask about fees, session length and how you will review progress together. See questions to ask before you book and how much therapy costs. On Therapist Circle, each practitioner's registration is checked when they join, and their profile shows the register and number so you can check it yourself.