When therapy isn’t working: how to raise it, change therapist or end well

If therapy doesn’t feel right, you have choices. You can talk about it with your therapist, ask for something different, move to someone else or bring things to an end. This guide walks you through each one.

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Is it the fit, or a hard patch?

Therapy can feel harder before it feels easier, especially when you start talking about painful things. Feeling tired or unsettled after a session doesn’t always mean something is wrong. It can help to ask yourself:

• Do you feel listened to and treated with respect?
• Do you understand, roughly, how your therapist works and why?
• Have you talked together about what you want from therapy?
• Has it felt stuck for a while, or is this a difficult week?

There’s no right answer. Noticing what feels off is useful, and it’s worth bringing to your therapist.

How to bring it up

Telling your therapist that something isn’t working can feel awkward, but it’s a normal part of therapy. A good practitioner will want to know, and talking about it often helps the work. You don’t have to explain it perfectly. You could say:

• “I’ve been wondering whether this is working for me. Can we talk about it?”
• “I’m not sure what we’re aiming for. Could we look at my goals again?”
• “I find it hard when… Could we try it a different way?”

It can be easier to raise it at the start of a session, so there’s time to talk. If saying it out loud feels too much, write it down and read it out, or send a short message beforehand. A free session preparation sheet can help you gather your thoughts.

Things you can ask for

• A review of how things are going and what you’re working on.
• A change of pace, for example more structure, or more room to talk freely.
• A different approach, if your therapist is trained in more than one.
• Changes to how often you meet, or to online, phone or in-person sessions.
• Suggestions for someone else, if what you need is outside what they offer.

Your therapist may not be able to offer everything, but they should explain what they can do and why.

If you decide to change therapist

You don’t need anyone’s permission to see someone else, and you don’t have to give a long reason. Some things that can help:

• Ask for suggestions. Your current therapist may know someone whose way of working suits you better.
• Think about what you’d like to be different. A different approach, a different kind of professional, or simply a different person. Our guide to who does what may help.
• Your records. You can usually ask for a copy of the personal information a practitioner holds about you. This is called a subject access request, and the Information Commissioner’s Office explains how to make one.
• Check before you book. Check the new practitioner’s register entry and look at our questions to ask before you book.

If you’re seeing someone through a service, such as a charity, workplace scheme or the NHS, ask the service whether you can be offered a different practitioner. It’s a reasonable thing to ask.

Ending therapy well

You can stop therapy at any time. If you can, a planned ending is often easier than simply not going back:

• Let your therapist know you’re thinking of finishing, ideally a session or two ahead.
• Use the last session to look back at what has changed, what helped and what you’d like to keep doing.
• Check your agreement or contract for any notice period or cancellation fees, so there are no surprises.
• If meeting to say goodbye feels too much, it’s fine to end by email or message.
• Ask whether you could come back in future, if you’d like that option.

If something feels wrong, not just unhelpful

Sometimes the problem isn’t the fit. Some things are not acceptable from any practitioner, for example:

• Sexual or romantic contact, or comments of a sexual nature. Professional codes also set strict limits after therapy ends.
• Pressure to buy extra products or services, lend money or do favours.
• Contact outside sessions that feels inappropriate, or being asked to keep your therapy secret.
• Sharing what you’ve said without a clear reason they explained to you, such as a safety concern.
• Making you feel belittled, judged for who you are, or pushed towards their own beliefs.
• Discouraging you from seeing your GP or other health professionals.

If any of these happen, you can stop seeing them straight away. Talking to someone you trust can help. You can also raise a concern with the register or professional body they belong to. Each has its own process, for example:

• Health and Care Professions Council: raising concerns (for practitioner psychologists, arts therapists and other regulated professions)
• British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy: professional conduct
• UK Council for Psychotherapy: how to make a complaint
• National Counselling and Psychotherapy Society: complaints

Not sure which body they belong to? Ask them, look at their profile, or search the Professional Standards Authority’s practitioner check. If you think a crime has happened, you can report it to the police on 101, or call 999 in an emergency. If the practitioner is listed on Therapist Circle, please also tell us.

If you’re feeling worse

Tell your therapist, and speak to your GP, especially if you’re finding it hard to cope day to day. If you take medication, don’t stop or change it without talking to your GP or prescriber first.

Last reviewed 18 October 2026. General information only, written for the UK. Not affiliated with the NHS, the Health and Care Professions Council or any professional body.

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