Couples Counselling and Relationship Therapy in the UK: Where to Start

You and your partner meet a therapist together, in person or online, usually for about 50 to 60 minutes. The therapist does not take sides. They help you each say what is going wrong, listen to each other, notice patterns (for example, the same argument on repeat) and try new ways of handling conflict, trust, intimacy or big changes such as a new baby, illness, an affair or separating well.

Some practitioners also see one partner alone, and some offer sessions for families or for co-parents after a separation. Ask which they offer before you book.

The NHS lists couples therapy as one of the types of talking therapy that may be available: you and your partner talk to a therapist who helps you deal with problems in your relationship. The type you can get on the NHS depends on what you need it for and what is available in your area. Source: NHS: talking therapies.

In England, if you're registered with a GP and aged 18 or over (16 or over in some areas), you can refer yourself to NHS Talking Therapies without seeing a GP. In Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland, a GP is usually the first step. For under-18s, see NHS: mental health support for children and young people. Tell the service that relationship problems are part of what you want help with, and ask whether they offer couples therapy.

• Relationship charities, such as Relate, offer couples counselling in many parts of the UK. Ask about fees, as some services may be able to offer reduced rates.
• Your employer's Employee Assistance Programme (EAP) may give a few free sessions, sometimes for couples. See waiting for work or union counselling.
• Free and low-cost therapy: charities, universities and training clinics.
• Low-cost counselling with a supervised trainee.

Several professions do couples work; the right person is the one with specific training and experience with couples. Ask about it directly. Practitioners who may offer couples work include:

• Counsellors and psychotherapists with couples training, on registers such as BACP, UKCP and NCPS. Sex and relationship therapists are often accredited by COSRT.
• Family and systemic psychotherapists, who are trained to work with couples and whole families.
• Practitioner psychologists on the HCPC register, some of whom offer couples therapy.
• CBT therapists, some of whom offer behavioural couples therapy.

Whoever you choose, check their register and ask about fees, session length and how you will review progress together. See questions to ask before you book and how much therapy costs. On Therapist Circle, each practitioner's registration is checked when they join, and their profile shows the register and number so you can check it yourself.